My wife absolutely rocks!

It's time I give praise to my awesome wife. I am just grateful Melanie is who she is. She is such a strenght to me. Business-She supports me trying to get my little firm going, helps with the books, gives me encourgement, deals with advertising, etc. Mom-takes fantastic care of our kids, always comes up with little activities and projects for them to do and is instilling qualities in them that will last them a lifetime, our kids love her. Wife-fits me absolutely perfect, meaning she helps me try to be a good dad and person, mostly through example. The areas I am weak in personally, she is very strong and I try to follow her but usually fall well short. Care provider-doing and incredible job, comes up with activities for mom to do, makes sure the kids have things to do with grandma, invites mom to go places, groceries, cleaning, laundry, etc. Calling-While balancing all these activities, she also stays very busy with her calling as Relief Society counselor. As part of her calling she goes on visits almost weekly to the Sisters in the Ward. And the amazing thing is she does all these things genuinely with love. I know I do some things because I have to or am forced to, but I believe she has the gift of charity. Anyway, I know this is sappy and everything but I have been so grateful for her and go home everyday excited to see her.

A few steps forward

It's been a few weeks since my last post so I thought an update was in order. Although I am definetely not firing on all cylinders still, I am in a much better place than I was a few weeks ago. there have been times where I have felt the spirit strongly which has given me a lot of comfort. It still hurts, but not for as long and not quite so much. Sometimes I pretend dad is watching pawn stars with me and have a private conversation with him in my head about what's happening on the show-I know that's a little strange, but whatever works. I can only imagine what he would say during the show Swamp people.

I think Melanie and I are working better together. The past few weeks we have been a little fiesty, maybe I should say I have been a little fiesty-maybe not even fiesty, just it has been difficult for me to make the simplest decisions-ones that don't even matter. I think between work, church, and everything else-the added stress of dad's passing and emotional toll fries my brain and I don't have much left at the end of the day. I think a lot had to do with stress. I should say I think Melanie has been absolutley amazing under the circumstances-taking care of the kids, doing her calling, helping with mom, running from our house to mom's house, then back again because we forgot something, etc. and I wish I could be as strong as her and appreciate all she is doing and I am continually astounded by her charity, and how much she is able to accomplish in one day, it's unbelievable.

Our kids are doing pretty good too. I think they are in heaven now because they like sleeping at grandma's and I will admit we have not been as strict with the rules at Grandma's as we usually are at our house. A few weeks ago I went to the fish auction in Utah and I took Kameron and Kyle and we stayed at Great Grandma Brown's house in Malad. We went to the cemetery and Kyle got down and hugged the grass by dad's graveside and said, "I love you grandpa." It was a tender and special moment. It was surreal but good to visit the cemetery. Grandma also shared some special things with me, which I don't feel are appropriate to post on a blog. Sometimes when we drive by the funeral home-Kameron will pipe up and say, "Want to see Grandpa."

It seems like mom is improving more and more each day in some areas. While she does have some memory issues, she seems to slowly be getting a little more zest for life back which is good to see. Peaches and tuna fish sandwiches seem to be her two favorite meals.

So overall, life seems to be a little more on the up and up with moments of down, which I think is ok and probably the way it should be.

Again, this is more for me as an outlet, I know my sister in law farrah is going to crush me for such a long post, but I can live with it.

Thoughts

I am writing this for myself more than anything-theraputic value?
Everything for me jsut seems like a blur right now-I feel like I am in a dream. I swear dad is going to stop by and visit the kids any second. I am still in such a state of shock I guess, it just doesn't seem real. Work has been hard for me as it is hard to focus at times. Sometimes I find myself going to pictures and videos looking for every image of dad I can find. I laugh, I cry, and just try to remember.

It has been interesting to go through dad's affairs. I have to give him credit as he was pretty organized in this area as opposed to the garage. It has felt overwhelming to try and figure out what to do and in what order, but we have been blessed along the way for sure. It was a huge blessing to discover that dad filed his 2009 taxes-makes me wonder if he had some sort of premonition. It was very stressful up until we found that out because they are due on Oct 15. While digging through records I found a result of one dad's doctor visits where it calculated his risk for heart trouble, by looking at cholesterol, etc. Around a year ago he was only slightly above the recommended level. But the most recent visit, for coronary risk he was more than twice the recommended level. It was just sobering to see it on paper. At his office there were two little books about how you know you are dying or something like that. I have much appreciated everyone willing to help with the tasks at hand-ecspecially Melanie, Dan and Shalee as I am constantly dumping stuff on them. We are plowing through the to do list as fast as we can.

It has been interesting to watch mom. As you know she didn't remember the conversation about moving in with her and was very opposed to it. She wants to maintain her independence and not depend on everyone to help her. We have been praying to figure it out and have been playing it by ear and letting it develop naturally. It is somewhat straining because our schedules are totally out of whack and just out of the norm. We aren't sure how long we should be there each day, if she wants food or not, if she needs us to leave for a while, making sure she takes her medicine, etc. These may seem like simple things, but challenging for us in the sense that we are trying to be delicate with mom. We have stayed there every night which I think is good. We were attempting to leave the other night to sleep at our house and mom wanted us to stay, so we did. I think she likes having us there, but doesn't want us to feel like we have to be there, but also wants her independence, but then acts surprised when we tell her we are leaving for a few hours, etc. So I guess what I am saying is it will just take time. Physically I think she is doing very well, about 100% better than when she got home. Emotionally I think she is ok, she gets overwhelmed as well by the choices and tasks that have to be done. I haven't seen her cry yet.

I know this is a bunch of rambling, but it feels good to get it out in some form.

I just miss dad

Summer recap and odds and ends

It was a great summer-a short list of our activies-Brianna's Baptism. Camping 4x at Rigby Lake with Dan, Shalee, Hadley, Blake, Grandma and Grandpa Brown, 4th of July with Grandma and Grandpa Brown, at Heise with the Carlson's, at Green Canyon, Melanie and the kids took a trip to her Sister's cabin in McCall, a Weekend at Melanie's Granparents cabin in Island Park, Pioneer celebration with the Carlson's, Bear World when Mark and Suzy were here, Weekend Salt Lake trip. Pics that follow are from some of those events and some are just cause.

Grandpa and NayNay

Green Canyon Camping

Rigby Lake Camping

Just random, but cute, baby sleeping during her bath

Pioneer day Celebration

Heise Camping-Rock Climbing-Way to Go Kyle!





Cousins having fun



Kameron 4th of July 2009 (and yes these were while the fireworks were booming, we were right on the Greenbelt).



Kameron 4th of July 2010 (again during the show).

Naomi didn't think too much of the fireworks either



It was fun to campout with Grandma and Grandpa and watch the fireworks with them too.

Kameron in his girly life jacket at McCall

Our trip to Island Park included of course feeding the fish, Playmill, riding the 4 wheeler, etc.

Brianna's Baptism!

Brianna and her good friend Daphne got baptized the same day.

Salt Lake trip-Hogle Zoo

At our hotel in Salt Lake we woke up and checked on the kids, here's how we found Kameron

Utah trip-Dinosaur Park

Dinosaur Park

a little morbid

Kyle loves to pick flowers for his mom


Brianna's $100 reward for reading the Book of Mormon before her baptism

I just like these 3

Green Canyon camping! First time off diving board

We had a great time camping at green canyon! Brianna and Kyle had been taking swimming lessons for 2 weeks and this was our first time to go swimming since. They were water dogs and this swimming adventure was the first time they went off the diving board, check it out. Kameron of course had to get in on the action too!

IT'S COMING!

It pretty much took the rest of our summer budget, but it is on its way to our house-the kids better be excited!

April 2010

I don't want to forget my kids funnies so I thought I better write again. But first I want to take a moment and write a little about our uncle Roy. On Friday he passed away after a battle with pancriotic cancer. He was an amazing man. If I had to describe him I would say he was everyone's friend and so full of service. His funeral was really a tribute to his life. So many people were there to honor his life. Uncle Roy helped many of us get into cars. He also rescued me one day from American Falls. We are blessed to have uncle Roy in our lives.

Mark was able to come to the funeral, so on Sunday we had a family dinner. Checkers now lives with Grandma & Grandpa Brown, since mommy needed him to have a different home. Duriing dinner Iheard Kameron say stupid dog, then he said shut up dummy. Kameron never says those wrds. I guess he associates those words with Checkers. It made us all laugh.

On Tuesday Dave & I were excercising. Brianna was excersing with us. Dad threw up, so he sat down. Brianna kept encouraging us to keep going. She informed us that we need to ad more grains to our diet. Smart girl.

Sunday we were privilaged to have new member discussions. It was so fun. It's especially great since Brianna will be baptized soon.

On wednesday we each got a ice cream cone for 16 cents a peice so it was 48 cents.On saturday we went to the play bueaty and the beast kyle acted like the beast all week long we injoyed it the lady at the counter said we owed her 2o$ mom payed her 2o$ she gave us 2$back there was refreshments 1$ per piece mom bought 1 for each of us so we think the lady gave us money back for refreshmints that is what we've done so far.

I loved going to the play with the kids. Kyle sat the whole time and enjoyed it as much as Brianna and I. Mom went with us to. Kyle went to Kindergarten registration. I can't believe he is that old. Time flys. I will miss him at home all day next year. He is my big helper. He always does his jobs when asked and is so sharing. Brianna is a reading queen, we are proud of her. She reads a ton of books, and is working on the Book of Mormon. She is almost done!! Naomi is starting to laugh. I love it. She is so pleasant, as long as you are holding her. Dave suggested we get her some toys that has been such a life saver. Life is just blessed and great.

On Friday it was spring break so we went on a family date. It was awesome. We started at the pet store to look at animals. Checkers went to live with Grandpa and Grandma Brown, so we told the kids we would get another pet. However Kyle was fine with checkers leaving, after Brianna told him he would get a new Thomas if Checkers left. Had I known that I wouldn't have worried so much about having him leave. I was worried about Kyle's feelings, who would have ever thought it would only take a Thomas. After the pet store we went to Dollar Store and Kameron wanted a Ballono like usual. He wanted faceman, Dave could not figure it out. He thought Kameron was saying spaceman. I came over and pulled down a big yellow one with a smile face on it. Kameron was happy he knew exactly what he wanted. We went to PoJo's which the kids love because they can ride bumper cars and out to eat Taco Time and McDonald's for the kids. The kids loved playing on the toys. Kameron stole Kyle's hamburger so I had to get another. Kyle use to love McDonald's hamburgers to. Can't figure it out since Kameron never eats a hamburger. Dad put the beds in the living room and they had a movie party that night. When Kameron woke up he told us he stay on bed. He was proud that he stayed on his bed in the living room all night. It was such a fun day.
I have not written for a while so I thought it would be great to take a moment and write. This last weekend was Easter, we had such a great time. It was also conference. I was told that if you have a question you would like answered you can write it down and it will be answered at conference. I wondered what I need to do to help teach Brianna before she was baptized. I felt like the answer came so many times. There was tons of talks on Mothers. We need to teach our children the scriptures, and teach spiritual things whenever we can. I just loved it. On Saturday I went to lunch with Farrah, Mom and Elizabeth. We talked about our dear friend Adrian who died on Easter morning ten years ago. Mom shared how he was in so much pain with his cancer and needed medicine. He knew the medicine would make him so he could no longer communicate. He had a friend who was a non-member and so he would not take the medicine until he spoke to his friend. One of his last acts on earth was to share with his friend, his testimony and the importance of being an eternal family. After his friend left, he recieved the medicine and was no longer able to talk. His freind later became a member and was sealed to his wife. It was so neat to share this story with my kids. I could feel the spirit as we talked about it.

On Saturday evening we went down to Aunt Fay's and Uncle Bobs for an egg hunt and dinner, it was so fun. They hid over 500 eggs and had gifts for everyone. They are such incredible people. Grandma and Grandpa and Dan and Shalee were there. It was great.

Sunday the Easter Bunny came and dumped his basket. The kids got Zu Zu pets and had a great time. We watched conference together and just had fun. I was proud of Brianna we had a hard time getting conference on Saturday and she was a little disappointed. We had Farrah and Doug over for Strawberry shortcake and the kids had an egg toss. Dennis and Laurie came over for dinner. What a great weekend. I love our family very much. We have been so blessed to have so much fun together. Dave and I always talk about how good our kids are and how much fun we have. Kyle and Ethan got to go down to Grandma and Grandpa's house and spend the night. Kyle packed his own suitcase with Thomas's and jammies and etc. He is growing up to fast.

BABY GIRL

January 25, 2010



SHE IS FINALLY HERE!! I can't believe it. Naomi Addison Brown is finally here. The last couple of weeks have been amazing. I can't believe how quickly your children attach to your heart and you would do anything for them. So let's write about the journey of getting her here. On Thursday January 7 I began to have labor pains. Dave was in Twin Falls so I called my sister over in case I needed a ride to the hospital. They became more frequent and Farrah was getting a little worried that I was not going to the hospital. Dave returned home around 11:00 and Doug and him gave me a blessing. In the blessing it told me that Heavenly Father is excited for this little girl to come to earth and that she would come when she was suppose to. I knew then that I would not be having her that night. I felt that I would wait until January 12th. This was her due date and especially important to me, because this is my brother Doug's birthday. It was such and amazing peace and comfort to have her on this day. I love Doug and have felt his influence many times since his passing, so to have my new little daughter share his birthday is so extra special to me. So on the 12th we woke up and went into the hospital. Laurie and Dennis came and watched the kids and then mom came up around 8:00. When I got to the hospital they checked me and I was dilated to a 3 and ready to go. They hooked me up to the potosium, and gave me the epidural right away. My nurses name was Becky and she was so great. She is the nurse that goes on the helicopters if their is an emergency. I did not feel one contraction. It was crazy. They kept the medicine on low because Dr. Levitt was in surgery and they were afraid I would go very quickly if they did to much. He came down and broke my water at 12:20ish. Then he went to the meeting. Dave became hungry and decided to go to the subway down the hall. It was only a few feet away. The nurse and I thought he would be fine if he hurried. It can be stressful watching your wife sleep while she is in labor. Oh yes and he had to find a name for the baby in the name book while I was in labor. We love Dave. Anyways suddenly the babies heart started to go crazy so they put me on oxygen and checked me again I was at an 8. About 2-5 minutes latter I asked the nurse to check me and sure enough the baby had dropped and it was time. They called in the Doctor. Luckily Dave had just made it back in to see the baby born. Yeah!! It was around 12:45 and I was pushing it only took 3 or 4 pushes and out she came. There was Maconium in the water so Dave and I were nervous. When Brianna was born a child next to her in the NICU had swallowed the Maconium and was very sick. So we got the baby out quick. It was amazing. Dave kept saying and so did the nurses. She is so beautiful. She is I have heard that many times since. Naomi so many think you are so perfect and so beautiful and a lot of people say we really do not think very many babies are pretty. It is such a wonderful and spiritual experience to have a baby. Dr. Levitt told me I should teach classes on how Dave an I decided to give both sets of Grandparents a call and then enjoy the time we had. I guess when I called mom Brianna ran to the room and got Kameron out of bed. They stood in the hall and were ready to come right to the hospital. I love how excited the kids were. She was born at 12:54 weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and 20 1/2 in. We enjoyed her so much. Wow. We did not want her to leave to go to the nursery. What a blessing. Dave and I enjoyed the hospital and loved sharing her with everyone that came to visit. Mike and Hailey came right away and then Mom and the kids, Farrah and Sam and Dennis and Laurie. Dave and Dennis went out to Sizzler that night while Laurie and I enjoyed the baby and they brought me back a big steak!!! Brianna and mom brought me some flowers because Brianna knew dad would not have time to go store. Brianna is always so thoughtful. That night I was going to send Dave home because the chair Dave was going to have to sleep in was terrible. Obviously they wanted dad's to go home. It moved around hardly reclined and was not soft looking at all. I started to hurt, so we did get them to bring in a cot and Dave stayed with me to take care of me. He is so good at taking care of me and the family. We are just so lucky. We had her on Tuesday and stayed until Wednesday around 1:00. They really want you to stay 24 hours. We ate a wonderful stork dinner at the hospital and then took home our new precious gift. Our anniversary is on the 14th what a great gift. We just feel so blessed to finally have our perfect little girl here. Like I told the kids she was worth every single sick day I had. She has already captured our hearts so much and we are so glad to have her.