A few steps forward

It's been a few weeks since my last post so I thought an update was in order. Although I am definetely not firing on all cylinders still, I am in a much better place than I was a few weeks ago. there have been times where I have felt the spirit strongly which has given me a lot of comfort. It still hurts, but not for as long and not quite so much. Sometimes I pretend dad is watching pawn stars with me and have a private conversation with him in my head about what's happening on the show-I know that's a little strange, but whatever works. I can only imagine what he would say during the show Swamp people.

I think Melanie and I are working better together. The past few weeks we have been a little fiesty, maybe I should say I have been a little fiesty-maybe not even fiesty, just it has been difficult for me to make the simplest decisions-ones that don't even matter. I think between work, church, and everything else-the added stress of dad's passing and emotional toll fries my brain and I don't have much left at the end of the day. I think a lot had to do with stress. I should say I think Melanie has been absolutley amazing under the circumstances-taking care of the kids, doing her calling, helping with mom, running from our house to mom's house, then back again because we forgot something, etc. and I wish I could be as strong as her and appreciate all she is doing and I am continually astounded by her charity, and how much she is able to accomplish in one day, it's unbelievable.

Our kids are doing pretty good too. I think they are in heaven now because they like sleeping at grandma's and I will admit we have not been as strict with the rules at Grandma's as we usually are at our house. A few weeks ago I went to the fish auction in Utah and I took Kameron and Kyle and we stayed at Great Grandma Brown's house in Malad. We went to the cemetery and Kyle got down and hugged the grass by dad's graveside and said, "I love you grandpa." It was a tender and special moment. It was surreal but good to visit the cemetery. Grandma also shared some special things with me, which I don't feel are appropriate to post on a blog. Sometimes when we drive by the funeral home-Kameron will pipe up and say, "Want to see Grandpa."

It seems like mom is improving more and more each day in some areas. While she does have some memory issues, she seems to slowly be getting a little more zest for life back which is good to see. Peaches and tuna fish sandwiches seem to be her two favorite meals.

So overall, life seems to be a little more on the up and up with moments of down, which I think is ok and probably the way it should be.

Again, this is more for me as an outlet, I know my sister in law farrah is going to crush me for such a long post, but I can live with it.